How to Stay in Touch With Your Sphere of Influence

By Tamara Lamore

Tamara Lamore has been an agent since 2002 and is the founder and leader of BKT Northwest, powered by PLACE real estate team, based in Everett, Washington.

Every agent hears the same advice: your sphere of influence is where your business comes from. But almost nobody explains how to actually stay in touch with those people without feeling like the salesperson friend, and that’s the part that trips agents up. Nobody wants to be the person whose every message is secretly a sales pitch. So many agents do one of two things: they overcommunicate until people tune them out, or they completely disappear. I’ve seen both, and neither one works.

Here’s what I’ve learned after years of doing this, broken down into the few things that actually matter.

Lead with relevance, not real estate. When I reach out to someone in my sphere, I’m not thinking about getting business from them. I’m thinking about what would actually be helpful to them right now, in their world. If rates shift, I send a quick explanation. If home values jump, I send a short update. And sometimes it has nothing to do with real estate at all, it’s just a check-in, a congratulations, a quick comment on something they posted. When your tone feels human, it doesn’t come across as salesy. It comes across as someone who pays attention.

Make it personal. Not everyone wants a mass email. Some people respond better to a direct message, or a phone call, and my personal favorite, a handwritten note. What sets you apart is remembering the details. When someone feels remembered, they remember you. And here’s the payoff: when they finally think about making a move, they don’t Google an agent. They call you.

Stay consistent, especially when you’re busy. The biggest mistake I see agents make is going quiet the moment they get busy. That’s exactly when your sphere starts to drift. The good news is you don’t need daily contact; you need a steady presence. A quick monthly market update, a light check-in, a helpful reminder here and there. That’s what keeps a relationship warm without any pressure, and it’s far easier to maintain than scrambling to reconnect with people you’ve gone silent on for six months.

The bottom line is that staying in touch with your sphere shouldn’t feel like marketing. It should be enjoyable. It should feel like what it actually is, maintaining and building real relationships. When you lead with value, keep it natural, and stay consistent, something shifts. Your business stops being something you chase and starts being something that comes to you through referrals.

If you want to build stronger relationships inside your sphere and turn that into a predictable, referral-driven business, let’s talk. Book a strategy call with me, and let’s make staying in touch feel easy, not awkward. Call or text me at (206) 222-1250, email me at Tamara@tamaralamore.com, or visit growth.tamaralamore.com.